Curse you General Mills

It all started Tuesday morning when I opened a shining new box of Lucky Charms…
Ah the magic! Wait a minute. What’s this? Instead of  the sparkling, sugary goodness I’ve come to expect from my charms there are some shriveled, careworn imposter lumps. It’s like my cat buried the charms in the litter box, licked them off and put them [...]

Something about the sun and the light

The sun has been hurting  my eyes.
The house is cool and dark, except in the kitchen, where the sun angles through the corner of the window. It reminds me of Iowa, even though I’ve never been there.
There’s a small pile of dirty dishes from the morning.  I throw away junk mail and feed the cats.
I feel like fashioning something with [...]

Like a watermelon falling off the back of a truck

I’m fairly trembling with energy.
My tiny chihuahua-sized cold isn’t stopping me.  
The weekend before I got my chihuahua sized cold, I had no energy. I languished by the TV watching the Food Network all weekend. “Such amazing people. They cook. Why does my face feel like it’s melting off?” 
This week I am my own HGTV/Food Network star.
Lots of [...]

Pastiche and how everything relates to pie and Mr. Darcy

I wake up with the word pastiche rattling round my head and I have no idea why. I try to ignore it. The more I try, the more it’s there. Pastiche, pastiche, pastiche.
 Sometimes it’s just the sound of it in my head. Other times I see the word floating cloud-like against a black background, the [...]

That and a dime will get you a cup of Canada

This weekend I went to America. Or I left America. I’m not really sure which. But there were stupid people there who said stupid things.
In Publix on Saturday I tried to pass myself off as a Real American with my cart full of Tastycakes and Cheetos. But the cashier was young, blonde, and highly trained. As I handed her [...]

ABC, NBC, CBS, NPR & Oprah. Please tell me what to do next!

This just in: You can save money by not eating at restaurants.
In  the media’s quest to make all stories relate to  a) the shitpot economy b) obesity or c) selfish ignorance, NPR has hit a grand slam (not the Denny’s kind) with this story on NOT eating out.
Don’t want to read the full article? Let me summarize for [...]

In which I mention the Gronebergs and how much I liked their books

I’ve already read 3.75 books this year. I’m not going to pretend I’m not counting, because I am.
The Secret Life of Cowboys by Tom Groneberg  and  Road Map to Holland by Jennifer Graf Groneberg have gone on my List of Books So Good I Will Talk About Them Enthusiastically and Stalk the Authors on the Internet. 
Both books are honest, poignant memoirs about dreams, [...]

What is vim and what is vigor?

Sleep a little later. Feed the cats. It always starts with feeding the cats.
Eat pie for breakfast. Sneeze a few times and wonder why my nose is stuffed. Linger over that cup of morning coffee with Finding George Orwell in Burma. Start Hamlet’s Dresser by Bob Smith.
Hang clothes on the line. Wash dishes. Pull a few weeds. Fuss over potted [...]

For your convenience inconveniences me

This is a shopping list I found in my local Publix:
eggs, coffee, flu shot, prunes, cheezits…
This is what I read on a sign I saw at my local library:
FLU SHOT CLINIC Friday, October 10, 2008 10 am-2 pm
Yes in Florida there are ”flu shot clinics” in grocery stores, libraries,  churches, community centers and pharmacies. Maybe it’s like that [...]

lastweekthisweek

Let’s play the last week this week game:
Last week I felt cool and refreshed in New York. This week I simmer and sizzle in Florida.
Last week I slept well in a cozy bed & breakfast. This week Lily steals my pillow and sleeps on my head. 
Last week I had smoked turkey paninis and creme brulee for lunch. This week [...]