That and a dime will get you a cup of Canada

This weekend I went to America. Or I left America. I’m not really sure which. But there were stupid people there who said stupid things.
In Publix on Saturday I tried to pass myself off as a Real American with my cart full of Tastycakes and Cheetos. But the cashier was young, blonde, and highly trained. As I handed her [...]

Just a thought

I drove the back roads to Boca on Saturday and went through Clewiston, America’s Sweetest Town. I yelped with delight because it’s in the middle of nowhere and I kind of like the middle of nowhere, especially if it’s sweet and has a road called Sugarland Highway.
I grew up in the middle of nowhere, which [...]

The most amazing post ever

I woke up right after he kissed me. He said I’d been asleep for 8 years and called me his sleeping beauty. Then everyone in the castle woke up to continue their lives where they had left off.
And gas was $1.99/gallon.
And we all lived happily ever after.

Dick Meyer says “worship the off button”

I’m afraid to watch the election coverage tonight. Afraid that lying, cheating, fear-mongering Republicans might win again and I will wake up in a dark alley somewhere lying in a pool of my own vomit because my tonic for four more years of Republican Rule would be alcoholism.
And that’s not something I really want to contemplate. I’m [...]

Upsanddownsandupsanddownsdowns

Down: On the way to a college music audition a car may be stopped in the middle of a very busy 6 lane highway and you may not be able to stop in time to avoid hitting it
Up: You think you are fucked and about to become the middle part of a multi-car wreck, but everyone else is able to stop [...]

Busy little bee…

Commodus: “He knew they were busy little bees. And one night he sat down with one of them and he looked at her and he said, “Tell me what you’ve been doing busy little bee or I shall strike down those dearest to you. You shall watch as I bathe in their blood.” And the [...]

parking incident

Yesterday we drove up to St. Armand’s to hit the gift shops and to get another taste of the best calzones made in Sarasota County. There was an Art show and parking was impossible. I spied two spaces at the end of the street. A prominent yellow sign was posted that read “Compact cars only”. Yaris [...]

yaris

So last week I bought a 2007 Yaris liftback. It’s the cutest car I’ve ever owned. It’s called meteorite silver and the interior is black & grey with black upholstery with blue polka dots. Actually they’re more like little m’s than polka dots, but whatever.
This is the cheapest car Toyota makes- except that mine is [...]

car shopping

I went to look at cars at Palm in Punta Gorda. I got hooked up with a salesman from the used lot who was trying to show me a used Hyundai with 24K for $13K. Um, no. So he took me over to the new Toyota lot and walked around with me. There was a red [...]