I worry a lot. About all kinds of shit. And I think I have reason to worry.
I don’t feel settled. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing with my life beyond being a mother. I don’t even know if I can think about becoming myself when I still have the overwhelming burden of college costs to deal with. Maybe it’s not even time yet. Maybe it will never be time.
I feel like I have been so focused on taking care of the kids, and trying to keep shit from raining down on us, that I’ve let myself slip away. Maybe I never was anything to begin with. Maybe I was never more than just a daughter, student, wife and mother. I get tired of being strong.