Today is the day I got mistaken for a high school student.
On Friday mornings I go to the high school to mentor a student. (Also known as pretending to be a successful, well-adjusted adult with her shit together.) Today when I was leaving, a blind, oblivious,drunken, highly trained and professional staff member asked me for my hall pass.
In that moment my work life flashed before my eyes. I could tell her I didn’t have one and she might write me up. I could see myself slouching in my chair in detention, reading Twilight, passing notes to my bff about weekend plans.
But I stepped away from the light, and in the end I pointed to the visitor pass on my shirt and she let me go and started hassling someone else instead.
Was it the jeans, the red shoes, the binder I carried, my dewey complexion, my social inhibition, my youthful lack of existential despair?
Who the hell cares? I have a 22 year old son and an 18 year old daughter. I’ve been a single parent for 13 years. There is history that isn’t showing on face or body to a distracted teacher on the day before Christmas break under flourescent lighting at 9:30 a.m.
I’ll take it. Sold. I don’t need a receipt. I don’t need a bag. Thank you. You have a nice day too!
(Addendum: my son immediately identified this as the woman known as “widescreen” for her huge sunglasses. He told me this is her thing and she is neither highly trained nor professional.
Apparently all she does is wander around asking people for their hall pass.
She once asked son for his hall pass when he was standing in the hall holding 3 pizza boxes and wearing a Papa John’s shirt. Even when he told her it was a delivery she tried to take him to the office to find out what class he was skipping.)