This just in: You can save money by not eating at restaurants.
In the media’s quest to make all stories relate to a) the shitpot economy b) obesity or c) selfish ignorance, NPR has hit a grand slam (not the Denny’s kind) with this story on NOT eating out.
Don’t want to read the full article? Let me summarize for you: it’s cheaper to prepare meals at home than it is to eat out. Some people are trying it and are amazed by how much money they save.
This is what I love about life. Learning. I never stop learning.
What have I just learned? That some people are turds.
I’ve come up with my own list to help all the turdies save money. I call it The Proven Effective Single M0ther’s Guide to Saving Money:
- Don’t eat out.
- Don’t pay for manicures, massages or hair color.
- Don’t buy crap you don’t need
- Mow your own lawn
- Don’t sign your child up for an activity then expect everyone to chip in for their uniforms/tournaments.
- Hang your clothes outside on the line
- Drink water
- Don’t go to movies, shows, concerts
- Use the library
- Drive a compact car
- Do your own simple home repairs
- Don’t go on fancy vacations
- Don’t do anything that costs money
Isn’t it brilliant? It’s proven effective AND no one has ever thought of these money saving tips before. No one!
I need to get an ugly haircut and some big shoulder pads so I can pass for Suze “Get a Job: Save Money: Have 8 months of Your Salary Saved as a Cushion” Orman.