It all started Tuesday morning when I opened a shining new box of Lucky Charms…
Ah the magic! Wait a minute. What’s this? Instead of the sparkling, sugary goodness I’ve come to expect from my charms there are some shriveled, careworn imposter lumps. It’s like my cat buried the charms in the litter box, licked them off and put them back in the box. Not magical. Not delicious. Just a box of deformed rickets-infected charms.
I have a bunch of questions for the geniuses at General Mills:
3)Since when does shrinkage mean better?
4)Was this Derek Jeter’s idea?
5)Did you think for one second about my burgeoning existential crisis?
6)What’s next? Virtual Charms?
Also, I sent this scathing comment to General Mills: Why did you shrink Lucky Charms? That’s not magic or delicious. It’s just a big bowl of disappointment. I intentionally made the comment short, since General Mills respects the mini.
I’m considering trying to fuse several charms together to form some average-sized charms, a marshmallow smelting if you will.
Results of this experiment will be posted later.