The psycho called today.
I was treated to a 3 minute message on my voicemail, ripped from the pages of the Idiot’s Guide to Being a Psycho. Something about being speechless. And some other things about being upset and angry and the many ways we’ve failed to meet expectations. It’s hard to take someone seriously when they say they are speechless, yet continue to rant for 3 minutes.
My name was mentioned several times, in a very Baby Jane Hudson sort of way. As in, “That Maaa-ry can’t shut up long enough to listen to clients,” and “Maaa-ry!! I talked to you. But you never SHUT UP!” The “SHUT UP” was said with such force of emotion that her voice cracked. If I could only have a nickel for every time I’ve made someone’s voice crack.
Using a rubric I’ve created for situations such as these, I have graded the psycho voicemail. There are 7 categories with a possible 4 points for each category:
|Position Statement||1 – there is no position statement|
|Uses complete sentences||1 – rarely uses complete sentences|
|Accuracy||1 – most supportive facts were inaccurately reported|
|Transitions||1 – the transitions between ideas were unclear or nonexistent|
|Sequencing||1 – many details are not in an expected or logical order|
|Knowledge of subject||1 – does not seem to understand the topic very well|
|Time limit||1 – presentation was too long|
Oh dear. Looks like someone’s failing.