This is about how much he loved me.
A label would have been useful. No Artificial Preservatives Added; Best Used By Aug 1994. The Surgeon General Has Determined that loving this person might cause heartache and bitterness. Limited 12 year warranty on mental defects. Contents under pressure. Long-term use of this product could lead to family dysfunction. May cause serious gastrointestinal problems. Safety goggles recommended.
I read labels. But really, who reads the fine print?