Brain, my love,
You know I adore you, but if we’re going to be in a committed relationship there are a few things that I need to get off my chest:
1. When you play the same music over and over it keeps me awake and comes off as a little hostile. It makes me wonder if you’re angry with me.
2. When you want to hang out later than my ordinary bedtime it causes me a great deal of anxiety. I try to be flexible but in all honesty, I don’t function well at work on 3 hours of sleep and neither do you.
3. When you do agree to rest, the dreams about failure aren’t helpful. Three times this week I dreamed I was unprepared for class – late, no books, no notes, assignment not even started. If I didn’t know you better I’d think you were trying to tell me I’m a fuck up. Can you mix it up and throw in some Mr. Darcy stuff once in a while?
4. You haven’t given me much to work with lately.
5. You have a tendency to obsess over things you have no control over. Glenn Beck and Rev. Terry Jones are assholes. I get it. You don’t have to bring it up every 30 minutes.
6. I don’t like when you make me hear things that aren’t there. Even though it’s not very often, I feel I should mention it. It’s not funny, it’s creepy.
7. Yes my ex betrayed me and the kids. Yes, he ripped my heart out, stomped on it and left it in the sun to rot. It’s rather unkind of you to keep reminding me of that.
8. Sometimes when I’m talking, you just shut down. I’m left stranded without the words I need. I need to know that you’re there for me.
9. Cheer up. A little levity goes a long way. I just want you to be happy.
I will always love you. You really are a part of me and I wouldn’t want to live without you. I couldn’t. There, I said it.
Lately I feel like our heads aren’t in the same place. See right there – you wanted to put an apostrophe in heads and I said no. These little squabbles we have make me sad.
I know there are things I do that annoy you too…the caffeine, the mind-numbing television, the distractions.
We can work this out. It’s just a rough spot. Let’s both make more of an effort to meet each other’s needs. What do you say?
With undying affection, devotion and love,